What, who, where, have you seen my shotgun?

Todays Quote: When you're born, you're pure. Unspoiled and trusting. Some say it's the only time we're perfect. You're also born covered in blood and placenta. No one gets nostalgic about that. - Titus from the TV show Titus

I'm tired. I'm beyond tired. I'm completely drained and stressed. I'm not even quite sure how I am operating. If this is what our parents went through as they balanced work, raising kids, and remembering who they were... Bless 'em for surviving!

It's been a while so let me give you a quick updating. The A-Ren is now approaching 3 years of age. For those of you not familiar with the "terrible twos" count yourselves lucky in some aspects. The daily changes and emergence of his personality is both frustrating (yes we've created a monster) and wonderful (I'm so proud of what I've helped create). He is learning his numbers, identifying colors, operating a mouse and playing basic computer games on Noggin.com or Playhousedisney.com, playing with Dulpos, hiding when we are trying to potty train him, throwing a fit when he doesn't get his way, repeating everything you say even if you did not know he was in earshot, and basically frustrating you to no end. It really is sooo amazing.

In reflecting back how my parents handled my brother and I, a small business, going to college, a full time job, helping run a Portuguese Language school, and a variety of different civic groups, I have no idea how they not only managed to accomplish this, but still provide us with numerous opportunities to see different sites and explore different location in the US and Europe. Although we didn't always appreciate being dragged from New Jersey to Virginia or shuffling from town to town all over Portugal, in the end, I believe the well rounded and inquisitive natures that both my brother and I share are a direct effect of all the experiences that were provided to us. As I look upon my growing family, I can only hope that I am able to provide these little adventurers that not only shape how you see the word today, but open you up to new experiences and world views tomorrow. Thanks Mom and Dad... Now where is my Virginia Beach is for Lovers T-shirt?

This weeks entertainment: The Upside Down Show/Umbilical Brothers- If you have a chance find these guys either on the web or on Noggin (TV channel) for your child (as The Upside Down Show) . A-Ren is so attached to them right now and their blend of imaginative play and wackiness is infectious even to adults. For adult themed versions of their work, look them up as The Umbilical Brothers. Keep the kids away from those clips, they aren't kid friendly.

Whatever....

Today's Quote: For every winner, there are dozens of losers. Odds are you're one of them. - Despair.com

I've been a piss poor blogger. I'm not sure if my apathy has gotten the best of me. Maybe work stress and raising the A-ren is finally starting to beat my energy level down. The problem is that when I stopped blogging I lost my outlet. Nowhere to vent or post drivel. I'm wasting space....

The mighty A-ren has celebrated his Second Halloween last week. In his fiefdom, A-ren has established that Halloween shall be the most holiest of holidays (he will be also announcing the change of Christmas to "Give A-ren Loot Day"). The peasants were pleased and celebrated the day with great zeal. Unfortunately, the tyrant drank a bit much and this shocking photo of A-ren was taken as he left an Inter-species dating party. At his mid-week press conference, it was apparent that he was embarrassed and he promised to keep his hands off of pussy cats.

In news, we are moving. The family shall be crossing the great plains of NJ and moving to..... Fords. Yes a whole 10 minute ride difference. A little more room, a less busy street, and an extra room for Bicyclemark when he visits. Everybody wants a visit from the BM.

I'm on my way to go vote. I'll post my reactions tomorrow after I get the results.

This weeks entertainment - The Rise and Fall of ECW (DVD) - Yes it wrestling. However, this documentary gave a very interesting view of how a wrestling company tried to take on the big boys (WCW and WWE) and how it was literally pushed out of the market into oblivion. The look into the business side was especially revealing... And it had Al Snow!

And I Ramble On....

You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise. I mean, all you can do is give them a meaningful look. - Terry Pratchett

Wielding his mighty scepter, the mighty A-Ren continues to spread fear throughout his land holdings. With just a flick of his wrist DVD's and books are lain astrewn like so many corpses on a battle field. Many a squeaky toy has been drooled on. I pity his feline subjects as I fear they will face his wrath soon.

For those of you unfamiliar with the A-ren, you can find pictures of him at Buzznet. It's sort of like catching the Yeti or Loch Ness Monster on film. He's quick...yet very photogenic. The mighty A-ren turned 1 on May 13th. The tributes sent to him in his honor will, as always, keep his wrath at bay.

I've been busy. Yes it's an excuse. So what has happened....nothing new with me or Jenn. The A-ren is walking now. It's a cross between Frankenstein and Dawn of the Dead. He staggers toward you rather clumsily and then tries to nibble into your skull and eat your brain. Never cuter!

I would love to lie and say I'm appalled by the condition of this or the results of that. I'm generally kind of numb to it right now. I was however horribly affected by the TomKat situation. Just kidding... Although my previous attraction to Katie Holmes is now completely gone.

Well back to work I go...Can't siphon from the tax payers all morning.

This week's entertainment - Saw (DVD) - Bah I was fooled...stupid movie completely threw me a
curve ball. I dare you to figure this movie out before the end.

Milk, Milk, Lemonade, Round the Corner Fudge Is Made

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. -- Frank Zappa

He crawls, he screams, he slaps Ben Stein on the TV screen...He's A-ren! That A-ren is one bad mother... Shut your mouth!

How do you come back to blogging after not posting for a month and a half? Head first and with no remorse! I have a full time job, a house to attempt to keep straight, and a child to raise. Back off man I'm a scientist!

So I enter the lovely lavatory they have at my place of work (lovely is so subjective...piss pit my work better), and as I gaze upon my choices of where to attempt urinate and not get any splash back (gentlemen...we all know what splashback is), I notice I now have three choices. Oh yes! No longer do I only have the ever popular stand up urinal and its evil sibling the germ breeding toilet! We now have a third option. The waterless, environmental friendly, money saving, "special" urinal. So I attempted to use this new invention. SPLASHBACK! This urinal is horrible for splashback! This is of course ignoring the fact that it is mounted half a foot lower on the wall than its brethren making it even more of a gymnastic exercise than peeing should be.

Why have I gone on a urinal tirade? Mostly a lack of sleep has driven me to this, but I have to say its that I have so little time to think of the big picture that I've started noticing more and more of the little picture. I find myself examining bathrooms for their convenience. Juice bottles for their ease of drinking when in a car. Underwear for its ability to resist wear and not get those weird little holes that cannot be explained. Now excuse me while I got watch the air purifier take in the bad air and release the good (how does it know it isn't just recycling the good air and not sucking up bad air)?

This weeks entertainment: Circle (DVD) - Eddie Izzard - My life's goal is to get a monkey that knows sign language and teach it to fire a gun.

Count Your Blessings

"When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, "There's just something about you that pisses me off." - Stephen King.

Greetings from the home of the ever famous A-ren. You may call him A-ren the cuddly. Oh but there is a second side to the A-ren. The tyrannical dictator who rules with an iron teething ring. These photos were released just moments before the photographer went missing. We can only hope this is the beginning of the end for this madman in size 3 diapers. Beware...He has learned to crawl this week and is now mobile!

I'ld like to tip my hat to every parent out there who survived the raising of their child. Oh yes I did mean to use the word survive. Although the emotional high of raising this little wiggle-man has been easily the greatest action I have ever undertook, I have never been more tired in my life. The energy expenditure of working full time and being the center of this little guys world has been enormous. I have had days where I am struggling just to make it without mentally snapping, pulling my mouse out of my laptop, and doing my best Xena-shriek while using it as a bolo.

I stopped watching the news again. I've decided I can't take all this garbage that they are force feeding me under the guise of important information. War, tsunami, mudslide, homeland security...I give up! My Eddie Izzard DVD has gotten a lot of use as background noise (it's important to expose the A-ren early to British humor before he starts watching bullshit primetime comedies on NBC). I am also coming out in this post regarding a very embarrassing issue. Yes, I, BigdaddyJ, watched Dora the Explorer with my son yesterday. I sang, I pointed at the TV, I marveled at her ability to switch from Spanish to English with nary a thought. My God (or your God) what have I stooped to for entertainment. Luckily jenny grabbed the remote and turned Ben Stein on (A-ren has a strange fixation on him. Should I be concerned?).

This weeks entertainment - Eddie Izzard - Circle - Yes I will have the Penne!

And On This Day, A Child Was Born.....

Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson

On this the day of my brother's birth (or birf if your so inclined to pronounce it) I do also bring about the rebirth of my blogging schedule. Today, the great Bicyclemark celebrates the ancient tradition of "damn-those-college-freshman-are-getting-to-young-for-me" day. This is a grand tradition that few are immune to (ex: Hugh Hefner). His Highness A-Ren also greets his Uncle BM (Mr. Bowel Movement) with a wave of his scepter and a very resounding "Huzzah!". He says you to have it your way and don't take no guff from the lady friends. A-Ren knows the ladies. Trust the A-ren.

It has been a chaotic two months to say the least. Time is quite the bitch (or biatch if your so inclined to say). Of course the option to slow it down was not in the package I purchased. I checked my warranty and I can't do anything about it. Mr. BM is learning that lesson today.

If I can pass on any Wisdom to my dearest brother on this the day of his emerging from the womb, it would be the following:

-Get to know the blondes. Yes they truly do have more fun. I've read a study and done one of my own. Like little wildcats I tell you.

-Work is only a means to an end. People who live for their "careers" leave a very successful corpse behind and little else.

-Smile! Don't let the bastards know you are sick and tired of their bullshit. Let them spread it...then smear it across their rotting carcasses as you do a happy jig.

-Hug people. I am a great believer in physical expressions of hello and goodbye.

-Eat bread. Let the no-carb bastards starve. More bread for you!

-And finally...Believe in yourself...for there are those of us out there that believe in you and it's an insult to us to think otherwise.


Favorite Entertainment: Tony Hawk's Underground (PS2)- I am so uncoordinated its the only way I can touch a skateboard without fracturing something.

I Honestly Don't Care

Why did you give me so much desire? When there is nowhere I can go to offload this desire - "I Have Forgiven Jesus" - Morrissey

Frustration is a curious feeling. It doesn't just denote a negative feeling. You can be frustrated about a love that puzzles you. You can be frustrated by a crossword puzzle that has you engrossed. You can be frustrated by any number of ridiculous little things in your life. The real question is what is your frustration and what does it drive you to do? Actions driven by emotion are a tricky thing at best. Most would tell you not to harness "negative" emotions for they will only bring pain. Of course I can tell you harnessing "positive" emotions will also result in this previously stated pain. These emotions or feelings are easily the best source of goals and direction in your life. Anger, love, frustration, and revenge are powerful motivators. The real trick is to recognize what you are being motivated by, recognize that you are being controlled by that emotion, and decide if that is what you really want. I guess I'm just workin through some baggage here... Just wanted to express that.

I went to Radio City Music Hall and I saw Morrissey last Saturday. My lord it was good. To those fans of The Smiths and Morrissey, exchange a body part for a ticket. It was one of the more amazing nights of music I have ever witnessed. Even from the ugly second mezzanine seats, it was difficult not to get wrapped up in the emotion of his songs. His voice sounded amazing and the band was so crisp. He played a great mix of songs. He hit most of "You Are the Quarry", did a few other solo pieces, and did a few Smiths numbers. Hearing "How Soon is Now" and "Big Mouth Strikes Again" live was sooo amazing. I do hope he doesn't retire as he is rumored to be thinking of doing. I would love to hear what direction he takes next. What is with the stage rushing tho. Quick explanation... people seem to enjoy rushing up to the stage, climbing on, and hugging Morrissey or shaking his hand and giving him letters (I hear he loves it when people rush the stage). The three people I saw during my concert perform this act looked completely staged. Seems kind of cheesy when its not spontaneous.

We also took A-ren pumpkin picking this past week. Nothing is cuter than photo-ops with someone who really can't say no (literally he doesn't know the word so I can dress him up in a frog suit and just click away... and yes I have a little frog suit.).

The more you ignore me....the closer I get.....


This Weeks Entertainment- Morrissey...Morrissey...Morrissey (After a good show, you cant help but surround yourself with the music)