Foggy Recollection

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Milk, Milk, Lemonade, Round the Corner Fudge Is Made

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. -- Frank Zappa

He crawls, he screams, he slaps Ben Stein on the TV screen...He's A-ren! That A-ren is one bad mother... Shut your mouth!

How do you come back to blogging after not posting for a month and a half? Head first and with no remorse! I have a full time job, a house to attempt to keep straight, and a child to raise. Back off man I'm a scientist!

So I enter the lovely lavatory they have at my place of work (lovely is so subjective...piss pit my work better), and as I gaze upon my choices of where to attempt urinate and not get any splash back (gentlemen...we all know what splashback is), I notice I now have three choices. Oh yes! No longer do I only have the ever popular stand up urinal and its evil sibling the germ breeding toilet! We now have a third option. The waterless, environmental friendly, money saving, "special" urinal. So I attempted to use this new invention. SPLASHBACK! This urinal is horrible for splashback! This is of course ignoring the fact that it is mounted half a foot lower on the wall than its brethren making it even more of a gymnastic exercise than peeing should be.

Why have I gone on a urinal tirade? Mostly a lack of sleep has driven me to this, but I have to say its that I have so little time to think of the big picture that I've started noticing more and more of the little picture. I find myself examining bathrooms for their convenience. Juice bottles for their ease of drinking when in a car. Underwear for its ability to resist wear and not get those weird little holes that cannot be explained. Now excuse me while I got watch the air purifier take in the bad air and release the good (how does it know it isn't just recycling the good air and not sucking up bad air)?

This weeks entertainment: Circle (DVD) - Eddie Izzard - My life's goal is to get a monkey that knows sign language and teach it to fire a gun.