Foggy Recollection

Friday, December 24, 2004

Count Your Blessings

"When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, "There's just something about you that pisses me off." - Stephen King.

Greetings from the home of the ever famous A-ren. You may call him A-ren the cuddly. Oh but there is a second side to the A-ren. The tyrannical dictator who rules with an iron teething ring. These photos were released just moments before the photographer went missing. We can only hope this is the beginning of the end for this madman in size 3 diapers. Beware...He has learned to crawl this week and is now mobile!

I'ld like to tip my hat to every parent out there who survived the raising of their child. Oh yes I did mean to use the word survive. Although the emotional high of raising this little wiggle-man has been easily the greatest action I have ever undertook, I have never been more tired in my life. The energy expenditure of working full time and being the center of this little guys world has been enormous. I have had days where I am struggling just to make it without mentally snapping, pulling my mouse out of my laptop, and doing my best Xena-shriek while using it as a bolo.

I stopped watching the news again. I've decided I can't take all this garbage that they are force feeding me under the guise of important information. War, tsunami, mudslide, homeland security...I give up! My Eddie Izzard DVD has gotten a lot of use as background noise (it's important to expose the A-ren early to British humor before he starts watching bullshit primetime comedies on NBC). I am also coming out in this post regarding a very embarrassing issue. Yes, I, BigdaddyJ, watched Dora the Explorer with my son yesterday. I sang, I pointed at the TV, I marveled at her ability to switch from Spanish to English with nary a thought. My God (or your God) what have I stooped to for entertainment. Luckily jenny grabbed the remote and turned Ben Stein on (A-ren has a strange fixation on him. Should I be concerned?).

This weeks entertainment - Eddie Izzard - Circle - Yes I will have the Penne!

Friday, December 10, 2004

And On This Day, A Child Was Born.....

Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson

On this the day of my brother's birth (or birf if your so inclined to pronounce it) I do also bring about the rebirth of my blogging schedule. Today, the great Bicyclemark celebrates the ancient tradition of "damn-those-college-freshman-are-getting-to-young-for-me" day. This is a grand tradition that few are immune to (ex: Hugh Hefner). His Highness A-Ren also greets his Uncle BM (Mr. Bowel Movement) with a wave of his scepter and a very resounding "Huzzah!". He says you to have it your way and don't take no guff from the lady friends. A-Ren knows the ladies. Trust the A-ren.

It has been a chaotic two months to say the least. Time is quite the bitch (or biatch if your so inclined to say). Of course the option to slow it down was not in the package I purchased. I checked my warranty and I can't do anything about it. Mr. BM is learning that lesson today.

If I can pass on any Wisdom to my dearest brother on this the day of his emerging from the womb, it would be the following:

-Get to know the blondes. Yes they truly do have more fun. I've read a study and done one of my own. Like little wildcats I tell you.

-Work is only a means to an end. People who live for their "careers" leave a very successful corpse behind and little else.

-Smile! Don't let the bastards know you are sick and tired of their bullshit. Let them spread it...then smear it across their rotting carcasses as you do a happy jig.

-Hug people. I am a great believer in physical expressions of hello and goodbye.

-Eat bread. Let the no-carb bastards starve. More bread for you!

-And finally...Believe in yourself...for there are those of us out there that believe in you and it's an insult to us to think otherwise.

Favorite Entertainment: Tony Hawk's Underground (PS2)- I am so uncoordinated its the only way I can touch a skateboard without fracturing something.