Foggy Recollection

Saturday, September 04, 2004

Importance of Being Me

All change is a miracle to contemplate; but it is a miracle which is taking place every instant. - Henry David Thoreau


Mr. A-Ren has brought a lot of changes into my life. A change in schedule, alteration of responsibilities, added pressure, enormous joy, large sense of pride, elevated self-esteem, and a great feeling of self-worth. He has also given me reason to look back on my life and what I have accomplished so far, what I plan to accomplish, and what have I done to my life up to this point.

It's hard to explain to someone younger than you what happens to time as you grow older. When you are younger, or maybe looking through a younger person's eyes, each experience is so fresh and new. With a minimum of responsibilities, you are able to live in the moment and enjoys it as if no other will ever come. As you make major decisions in your life (career, life partner, children), and responsibilities mount, you find that time becomes an after thought. It's an item on your shopping list that isn't on sale so you just pass it by on that shelf of important items (just to the left of the Oreos and above the Ramen Noodles). Joyous moments of your life are replaced with the last 2 hour meeting you sat in. Plans to go take a walk and enjoy the outdoors take second seat to getting the oil changed in your car and getting the tires rotated. It's so disturbing how quickly you dismiss a book as a time waster and grab the remote to turn on the latest HBO movie based on the book you just pushed away.

As I watch the young Mr. Xander, now approaching the completion of his 4th month of life, it strikes me how quick time passes. Two months ago he was a small quivering being trying to understand the world around him. In two months he has learned to grab things with his hands (my wife's hair), stand up on your lap when you hold him (on my balls), cry when he's hungry (2 AM), and a variety of other little "tricks", as some people call them. To me they are all little miracles. This little being is becoming his own person right before me and with a speed I desperately wish he would slow. He is my constant reminder that I must take time to not only enjoy his life, but to love mine as well. So I'm making myself some deals. I will not stay late at work anymore. I will find my tennis racket and rediscover the game I enjoyed so much once. I will find moments where turning off the TV will lead to new discoveries and adventures with my wife and son. I will take pictures of anything that catches my eye so that I can look back and remember how those moments made me feel. I will tell my wife and son that I love them, not only with my words, but with my every deed and thought.

Hug someone today that you haven't hugged in a long time. Keep that feeling with you and watch the beauty of your life grow.

Today's Entertainment- MTV2 and Fuse - I need my music fix and at least these two stations still have music videos playing.

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